Be calm.

Aim for mastery but not perfection.

When it comes to action, if there's anything like perfection, it is an illusion. The willingness to seek perfection is in itself a misery.

Ever been in a situation where you feel so bad about yourself because no matter how hard you try to be perfect at something, you still make mistakes? You feel you aren't good enough despite having 'trying hard'? I’ve been there.

The first week of mounting a sewing machine, I wanted to be a guru at it. I wanted to make straight and strong seams. My boss told me to take my time as it wasn't a day job. I was adamant. She's perfect, why can't I be, or so I thought. I got frustrated when the thread kept leaving the needle.

“Why wasn't I getting it?” I can recall I broke several machine needles in the process, which I had to replace with my money. The more I tried to make 'perfect' stitches, the more I failed at it. "But why?"

I discovered the answer after a thorough observation of my boss while she was sewing. My error was that in the process of trying to be very fast while on the pedal—as I was still a novice—I had been pedalling wrongly. The handwheel was supposed to go forward and not backward. I was in a hurry to get it right that I failed to observe what was the right way to pedal a sewing machine even when she showed it to me at its inception.

I had to let go of the zeal to 'become a master in 7 days' as these WhatsApp gurus would say. I explained the problem to my boss and she guided me. After continuous pedalling, I got it right and didn't break any more needles. About the straight seam, I was made to sew pieces of clothes that we didn't need. I did that consistently for weeks, and I got better at that, too.

Back to the main gist.

Today, I want to talk about the problems associated with cultivating a new habit and how to handle them.

Before proceeding, ensure to train your mindset to accept that even though there might be a problem, you can always find a solution when it comes to habit formation. Ready? No? Then, you needn't read this!

My people, follow me.

1. Accept that there is a problem.

I want it to be very clear. Accepting the existence of a problem isn't bad in itself and that's the only way you can improve and a find solution to it. Denying it is the problem. “Yes, I want quick results and I feel terrible when they take time.” “Yes, I'm supposed to get a flat tummy in 3 days and today is the 5th day with no changes.” “Yes, it's over 30 days of designing and my designs aren't attractive to people. I still am not a pro like our coach after his 30 days of designing.” Just admit it. You can write or say it to yourself. As you like it.

2. Work towards making meaningful improvements and be intentional.

I want to give an illustration of what it takes to build up a habit from kindergarten to graduation.

You have been an eight hours person all your life (8 hours of sleep per night), and due to your present demand, you have to sleep late and wake up very early thereby having 5-6 hours of sleeping at night (might be less on some days). If you need to wake up by 4 am unlike the 7 am you were used to waking up in the past, you need to make strategic planning. You just can't wake up by 4 am the next day when you slept at midnight and expect to continue with that routine for 5 days a week, 4 weeks a month. It might seem ordinary at first because it's something you have to do, irregardless of if you want to do it or not. It would get to a point where you'd be so exhausted. Frustration sets in, then stress. Harmful stress can come into the picture which can be dangerous.

How do you go about it?

For the first week, ensure to be diligent at doing your work or study totally. You can choose to sleep by 10 pm, if you cut off your social media interactions to the barest minimum, and ignore all other counterproductive actions. We all know what they are. Then, you wake up by 5:30 am continuously for about a week. Ensure you have your basic materials around you, so you wake up and get done with your routine and still be punctual for your engagement. Do this consistently for a week or more.

For the next week, reduce the hour by half an hour again I.e get up by 5 am. Keep up the energy, and you would see the beauty in consistency. Continue till you get to the exact hour you'd need to get up and have a productive day. Your body would have gotten used to it that you might wake up without an alarm ringing.

Even if this isn't related to the new habit or skill or knowledge you are trying to learn, you can apply this strategy. Believe in yourself while working and yearning to be better. Show up and be committed. You should not be surprised at the progress made in your daily routine.

• It's fine to not have everything all figured out as it is a fact that no done does, perfectly. Just keep striving to be better. Know who you are and what you stand for. It might not be clear to everyone but maintain your authenticity and originality.

Finally, it's not all about reading this newsletter, giving it a like, or sharing it. What you make out of it is the most significant.

I'd be rounding up with a quote from the famous author, James Clear. "Motivation comes and goes. If you want to do something consistently, then don't pick a level of difficulty that requires great motivation. Make it easy enough and simple enough that you'll do it even when you don't feel very motivated."

Cheers to growth.

With Love,

Roqeebat Bolarinwa.